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In Support of All People

Unitarian Universalism and Our Support for Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian, and Transgender People

Rev. Keith Kron

This pamphlet provides basic information for youth and adults on bisexual, gay, lesbian, and transgender issues. It reflects our Unitarian Universalist values and our experience of living in a society that has people of all sexual orientations and genders.

The rights of bisexual, gay, lesbian, and/or transgender people continue to be under debate. Questions include: Who can adopt children?  Who can be fired from a job because of their sexual orientation?  Who can get married?  Who can serve our society in the military?  As our society wrestles with these questions and others, you will hear a wide range of opinions about them.

Our experiences as a religion has led us to support the rights of bisexual, gay, lesbian, and/or transgender people since 1970. Although an overwhelming majority of Unitarian Universalists are heterosexual, we have been labeled a "gay church" because we so outspokenly live our values embracing bisexual, gay, lesbian, and/or transgender people.

This is a good thing. 

Our supportive voice has saved lives, provided spiritual homes, and given hope to many that our differences and similarities as human enrich and nourish all of our lives. We believe fundamentally that every human being has something to contribute to this world.

Our denomination's commitment to fight oppression, whether it be homophobia or racism or sexism or atheism, is an example of how we strive to live our faith in the world today. We do not always succeed in this effort as well as we would hope, but we know the struggle is worthwhile.

History of Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian, and Transgender Activism

In 1969, the Reverend James Stoll, a UU minister, was working with youth who encouraged him to come out openly as gay. Because of the strength of our youth then, our history changed.

A year later, the Unitarian Universalist Association passed a resolution supporting equal rights for bisexual, gay, and lesbian people. As more and more Unitarian Universalists came out of hiding and began being more completely human with us, our denomination began to grow and learn more about sexual orientation.

In 1973, the denomination voted to create an office to focus on gay and lesbian issues. By 1999, the Office of Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian, and Transgender concerns was servicing more than 2000 information requests a year and making more than 75 field visits a year to UU congregations.

How Change Happens

How has Unitarian Universalism become a denomination in which 5% of our ministers are openly bisexual, gay, and lesbian? Why do we now see outreach to the local bisexual, gay, lesbian, and transgender communities as exciting work, rather than fear that our work will cause others to label our church as gay?

This change in our congregations and in our individual lives happened for several reasons. First and foremost we broke the taboo of silence and began to talk about bisexual, gay, lesbian, and transgender issues.

People were able to ask questions--and speech is a form of public witness and change.

Second, people of all sexual orientations and gender identifications began to get to know one another. We began to share stories, attend committee meetings together, worship together, and listen to one another. We operated out of respect, believing that each person's life has something to teach all of us, as long as we choose to pay attention.

Third, we education ourselves. We did not let silence and stereotypes be our educators. We asked for and developed curricula on sexuality, homophobia, and the interlinking of all oppressions.

Throughout this journey, our faith led us. We listened to the experiences of our gay, lesbian, bisexual, and/or transgender members and let them teach us. This was not always easy. Often we were challenged by the stereotypes which had been a part of our education.

We had much to learn and to unlearn. But our faith led us from a rigid set of beliefs to a broader, more human understanding of those around us and of ourselves.

Today, bisexual, gay, lesbian, and transgender people serve effectively as ministers, religious educators, board chairs, youth advisors, and in other leadership roles in UU congregations. Our communities have benefited from their full participation. And now we understand that when oppression and discrimination remain unchecked, everyone loses.

Stereotypes and Myths

Undoubtedly, you have heard the word "fag" used as an insult. In fact, statistics show that it is the most common putdown in our school. Even though a seven-year-old may not know that "fag" is another word for "gay," the association that fag equals gay equals putdown helps set up a society where some people are seen as less human and less valuable that others. This is wrong.

You might also hear that gays and lesbians recruit people and seduce children into becoming gay and lesbian. This is also wrong. It is true that some adults--heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual-- seek to have sexual relationships with children and youth. For an adult to have a sexual relationship with anyone other than another adult is inappropriate and a misuse of the adult's power.

But suggesting that it is mostly bisexual, gay, lesbian, and/or transgender people who molest children, or that more than a small minority do so, is more that wrong. It diverts attention from the real problem of sexual abuse in our society. Sexual abuse is about the abuse of power, not about sexual orientation. All adults must learn to treat children as children and respect their humanity--not treat them as sexual objects.

Unfortunately, people who believe that bisexual, gay, lesbian, and/or transgender people are out to molest children have learned a stereotype and are not always interested in learning the facts. For people who have isolated themselves from bisexual, gay, lesbian, and/or transgender people, these beliefs are even harder to unlearn.

You may also hear from some people that their religious beliefs tell them to view homosexuality as immoral. It is important to know that there are many people of all faiths who support the rights of bisexual, gay, lesbian, and/or transgender people--even when they believe their religion calls them to say that homosexuality is wrong. Even people who believe homosexuality is immoral can interact with people of all sexual orientations as worthwhile human beings. Religious beliefs should not serve to promote or shelter bigotry.

Questions to Consider

When a friend uses the word "Fag" to describe someone, how would you respond? Would your response be different if the speaker were an adult, like a teacher or Scout leader?

Imagine that you invite a friend to join the Scouts, and he tells you that he's not sure he would be welcome because his mother is a lesbian.

How would you respond? And would it be different if he said he would not feel welcome because he thinks he is gay?

Learning More

Several resources available from the UUA can tell you more about bisexual, gay, lesbian, and transgender issues. The Our Whole Lives curriculum on values and human sexuality includes pieces that can help parents and mentors discuss issues of sexuality with youth, and that can help young people respond to issues of bias and homophobia wherever they encounter them. The Welcoming Congregation, a UUA program designed to help congregations deal with these issues, may also be helpful. Speak to the religious educator or minister in your congregation about these resources, or contact the UUA Youth Office at (617) 742-2100 x355 or yruu@uua.org.

The following organizations can also answer questions about bisexual, gay, lesbian, and transgender issues:

The Reverend Keith Kron is director of the Office of Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian, and Transgender Concerns of the Unitarian Universalist Association's Faith in Action Department

© 1999 Unitarian Universalist Association 25 Beacon St, Boston, MA 02108-2000 

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